First Stop: Vanuatu!

Hey all, I hope this letter finds you in a wonderful season of life!

So a lot of you already know about my desire to be a traveling servant. Well, I've got exciting news! August 1st through the 15th I’ll be joining a few other members of my church, The Father’s House, on a missions trip to Vanuatu - located in the south pacific between Australia and Fiji! We will be doing community service for a small village, including building a church and whatever else we are called to do with our time there.

The organization taking me is called Feeding the Hungry, and is owned by a family that my parents and I have had the pleasure of knowing for years. Pastor Carlos Sales is the founder, and his calling is sending out missionaries and going on trips himself. It will definitely be an honor joining him on this awesome adventure, especially as my very first missions trip!

This short trip falls perfectly between the summer and fall semesters of school, where I am studying Sociology. My goal is to become a sociologist for a community service or missions-style organization (like Feeding the Hungry) in a country suffering in poverty. So this trip to Vanuatu is extremely exciting as it is my first missions service trip, where I will have the chance to create a relationship with the small community that lives there and get my hands dirty working with them. I know that Vanuatu will only be my first stop on my journey!

So, if any of you would like to support me on this Vanuatu trip, it would be a huge blessing to me! Prayers, advice, encouragement and financial support are all welcome and very much appreciated! And of course, if you would like to know more about my passion for service, my trip to Vanuatu, or my friend Pastor Carlos’ organization, feel free to give me a call or email. I would love to talk your ear off about any of it!

Thank you so much in advance for any encouragement!


Personally, Claudia Rose

claudiarosea@gmail.com -- 760 580 4870

Donations welcomed in cash, check, or through Paypal.

Make checks to Reaching the Hungry and it will be tax-deductible.

Use pay pal here:

Where I'm at Now.

Well, I know it's been a while for some of you. We're all busy, it's hard to keep up with everyone!

This is just an update of what has been going on with me.

~ I'm still going to the Father's House in San Marcos, and am actually employed there now as the Director of Operations Assistant. It's a really swell deal, and I love spending that much close time with my church family.
~ I'm also still working at Peet's Coffee and Tea, just slingin' drinks and grinding coffee.
~ I still study at Mira Costa College, but instead of Psychology I'm majoring in Sociology and Culture. ~ If it works out, I'd like to transfer and continue studying Sociology, Culture, and Environmental Studies.
~ I'd like to eventually have a career working missions or community services either at a church or for some non-profit organization.
~ Because of my studying, I've turned into a total bare-foot, tree-hugging, humanitarian hippie. And I love it.

And I think that's about it. Everything else can always come up in conversation over lunch, yes?

Personally, Claudia Rose.

Why you don't love me.

Lately, a few of my friends have been getting married or engaged (congrats to all of you). But it's been weirdly affecting me, since I am trying to convince myself that I want to be single right now until I return from my mission trip next year.

So last night - well, ten minutes ago before I woke up - I had this dream where I was sitting in my car on the edge of a cliff that dropped down to a beach where the sun was setting. There was a faceless guy sitting inside with me, and it was obviously kind of a romantic scene.

Well, me being awkward and frigid, I'm just staring at the water and sunset, and trying to not give off any sign that it's okay for him to put his arm around me, or anything like that. And Mister Faceless says "Claudia Rose. Hey, Claudia Rose." And I respond "What?" without turning to look at him. And he goes "Look at me." So I twist my head to look at him, and I know that his face had no real features or anything, so he was still pretty faceless, but I remember that I made eye contact with him.

"I love you." he says so directly and matter-of-factly.

"Pff" I turn back to the ocean and say "No you don't" in a real bratty way.

"Yes I do. Why would I not love you?" I can feel his stare on me.

I start listing all the reasons why I'm not perfect and all the things that have happened to me that make me insecure or depressed or bitter or someone that he wouldn't love. I tell him about every little scar in my life (I'm surprised I could make a list so well and so fast in a dream), and I'm telling each story or memory in the most gruesome way to try and exaggerate how damaged I am.

"... I've got so much baggage and pain and bad stuff. That's why you really don't love me." I face him when I tell him that last part, and he stares directly at me and says

"I want to carry all of that for you. Give me all your weight so I can carry it for you, and love you. If you would just trust me and let me help you carry that baggage, then I can really love you."

That last line kind of made me start to think, that's way too good and sweet to be real, I can't imagine any guy I know saying that, that sounds more like something God would be saying to me.... OH WAIT....



Personally, Claudia Rose

Journal of a Mormon Missionary

So I've got this old best friend who got saved last year. It's totally rad, except for the fact that he converted into the Mormon church. But compared to his old lifestyle, it's awesome seeing him live a moral and positive life.

Well, as all good mormons do, my buddy got sent off on his 2-year mission. He left in April for Canada - you'd think that they would send him to a third world country or somewhere like that, but it turns out Canada is lacking believers pretty bad.

When my friend left on his trip, he promised to email everyone weekly, if they wanted to receive them. Me, being stoked on his new-found faith, signed second or third on the email list. So the emails have been flowing in every saturday or sunday for the past four months, and I have not read ONE until this afternoon. I've meant to, but just never got the burning urge to sit and read fat paragraphs about a religion I didn't believe. So I just opened and closed each one as they came, that way my inbox wouldn't be filled with "unread" emails.

Now, on this happy Labor Day, I've had a series of frustrating occurrences that have led me to be sitting here in Peet's Coffee and Tea, with nothing better to do than read the 25 emails I've fallen behind on. Genuinely interested in how my old friend is holding up on his first stretch of a 2-year mission, I devoted myself to reading all 25, and even though it's all him talking about his amazing religion that I don't follow, I've found some of the things he said so cool and powerful. I wrote a few of the things down in my journal, and thought I'd share them here too. So here we go:

1. He signed off his first in-the-field email with "Stay strong, stay motivated, and know that our Heavenly Father knows you personally, feels everything you feel, and is with you every step of your life." I love that. It's super encouraging, especially after my unluckiest day.

2. In one of his emails, he was saying how he was having a rotten week of people slamming doors in his face and ignoring him, and was feeling super discouraged, but before the bitterness swept in he would ask himself "am I going to serve the God of righteousness today, or am I going to serve the enemy of righteousness?" That may be a little jurassic, but I like thinking in black and white, and this helps me put my attitude in perspective.

3. The mormon tribe he is with have this thing they use to "save lives," called CPR.
C is for church, go to is.
P is for praying through everything.
R is for reading the scriptures.
Super neat. I'm probably going to pull that out anytime I ever minister to someone. haha

4. The last thing I wrote down, was a sign off he used - "Stay true to what you know, and be sure that what you know is true."

So I did it, in one 2-hour sitting, I made it through all of his emails, and I actually enjoyed it. It's crazy reading his updates and knowing that it's the same guy that I knew in high school, because he was so different and unbelieving back then. Even though he is doing it for a religion I don't follow, I greatly admire his mission and evangelical work. I'm totally proud of him.

Personally, Claudia Rose

My decisions vs. God's decisions

So, one of the things I struggle with a bit is making decisions quickly and randomly. A lot of the times I can tell if they're good decision or bad decisions, and if they're "right" or "wrong" (in terms of what God wants.) But there are times when I'm just utterly at a loss of whether what I feel I should be doing is God pushing me to do it, or if it's me just getting excited and thinking God wants me to do it.

The perfect example: my move to Tennessee and back.
My decision to move there was all on me. It took about two weeks for me decide and leave. I got excited and just jumped into it, didn't specifically feel God saying no, so I concluded "This is what God wants."
Well, the move turned out to be a horrid idea, and my decision to move back was even quicker than the one to move in the first place; I decided and left within a week. It was another time when I didn't worry about the details, I didn't hesitate to pack up everything and rent a car, I just fully felt like I had to do it. The only difference between my two decisions is God. The first move was me trying to control my life and doing what I said God thought was best for me (Like I can say what God wants for me. Ha!) The second was all God - I could literally feel Him moving in me and ordering me to go back to my home. It was just so direct and honest, it's like I didn't even have a choice to let my silly brain decide.

Tonight I was talking to a lovely girl about some"thing" that I think God has placed on my heart to do. I was telling her that I feel like I'm getting signs left and right from Him reminding me of this "thing", and maybe telling me to move forward with it, but I don't know if it's just me noticing random things and mistaking them for God sightings. Luckily, this girl is incredibly wise and gave me perfect advice.

First, she said "God is not a God of confusion," which is something I remember so many people telling me before I moved, but that I totally brushed off. IT'S SO TRUE THOUGH! She said "God will make His will crystal clear." Which is super encouraging, and something I know to be true. Unfortunately, I also know that I get impatient and start going "Okay, that sign was crystal clear enough for me!" and want to dive into things.

And the second thing she said that stuck with me was "If you don't know something about God, refer back to what you do know." Then she listed a few obvious things that we sometimes look over; God is providing, God is loving, God wants us to love, etc. I love that so much, because when I get impatient and don't know what God is trying to say to me, I will put words in His mouth. But this different technique is so much easier and better - just look back to what you already know about God. I love to keep things simple, so I feel kind of silly having never thought to do this before!

This "thing" that God has put on my heart is kind of wild and random, and I felt like this girl was the only person I could really talk to about it, considering she's the only person I know to have experienced it. But it turns out, the advice she gave me was completely different from what I was expecting. She barely even talked about the "thing" at all, she just told me how to know what God is wanting, which is exactly what I needed to hear. I can't decide what God wants for me, she can't decide what God wants for me, only God can. I went into the conversation expecting her to shed light on what I should decide, and came out ready and willing (and excited) to see where God leads me and what He is going to tell me.

Personally, Claudia Rose

Can you hear me now, God?

My ability to hear God is like owning an old cell phone with bad reception. I can catch the main points, but every other word of the important details just seem lost somewhere over my head. I feel like I should be praying what that dude in all the Verizon commercials is always saying " 'Can you hear me now', God? Hello?.. I heard you a second ago, are you still there??" I usually don't let it get me down when I don't fully understand what God is trying to reveal to me. I mean, if it's of dire importance, I believe He will get across to me somehow.
But it can be super frustrating sometimes. Especially when I see my friends hearing God everywhere! Random songs, books, the sky, little kids, paintings. I've had a few of those moments where God showed up in a random scenario, and it was awesome! I want more! I want God and I to switch to a better cell phone provider, so I can hear Him everywhere, saying everything!
A few days ago I told one my friends that I sometimes have difficulty hearing God word-for-word, and my friend's advice was to learn how I listen and how I love and how I communicate best, and listen "through those avenues, because He knows us and He will talk to use through the ways He knows we are able to listen the best." And in my head I'm like

Oh. Yea. Duh.

So that's simple enough, now I just need to figure out how I listen, love and communicate best.
And on top of that, what I've noticed about myself is, I need to stop being distracted by other people's hearing God, so when it's my turn, I'm not looking the wrong way. There's a reason hearing God is a gift. It's so beautiful and awesome when it happens, and some people are lucky enough to hear Him loud and clear almost all the time. So when I'm calling on God and He's responding, I was to be sure I'm getting that whole gift and hearing God's every word.

"Can you hear me now, God? GOOD."

Personally, Claudia Rose.

Bible Study Time!

Alright, I've got my bible, my journal, all the Christian books I own, my "God time" music playlist on repeat, a comfy chair with some pillows, a glass of water, and my phone is off. I'm ready for some one-on-one devotional.

So, where to begin. Maybe I'll just open to a random page and see what God destined for me to read - wait, no, that's dumb. It doesn't work like that. Okay, I'll just pick James, that's a book full of good advice. Alright, here I go.

... *five minutes pass* ...

I love you God, but I don't like this Phil Wickham song. Next.

Same with this one. Next.

... *five minutes pass* ...

Wow, those trash trucks are loud. Way to distract me!

And it's SO bright right now. Aw, look at what a nice day it is outside today! It's perfect to be on the beach. NO. Focus. Beach tomorrow.

... *five minutes pass* ...

I wonder what time it is. Oh yea, I wouldn't know because my phone is off. What if my parents text me and it's important? I should really turn my phone back on. Wait, what am I thinking? They can wait one quick hour while I'm doing my bible study.

... *five minutes pass* ...

It really is a beautiful day. I mean, I could just go and study on the beach. It will help me appreciate the wonder and beauty of God's work.

No no no. It's strictly study day. No day dreaming.

Now back to James. Chapter 1 verse 4....